My big thing is open communication. It’s so much easier to just ask someone about something you’re wondering about than to worry and let things fester in your head until you’re a paranoid mess. In my opinion, a healthy relationship is one in which you’re comfortable asking and talking about these things without fearing the reaction of your significant other. So, my advice — which you don’t have to take, by all means — is to just bring it up to them. Explain that you’ve been feeling [insert emotion here: distant, detached, lonely, etc.] and you just want to understand your significant other’s situation/whatever it is you don’t think they’re being honest about. And then you just have to trust their answer. If you don’t, then I’m sorry to say that I don’t think a relationship can last without mutual trust, however innocent or guilty one person is.
And honestly, I’m not sure that those conventions are so much a problem — I think it’s doing teenagers (and especially teenage girls, who bear the brunt of our cultural concern-trolling) a pretty big disservice to suggest that, for example, reading Twilight is going to turn them all into brain-dead girl-zombies in abusive relationships (I grew up obsessed with Flowers in the Attic, which makes Twilight look like the S.C.U.M. Manifesto, and I turned out pretty okay). If we want girls to be growing up self-reliant and making good decisions, that’s our job as a culture, not my job (or Stephenie Meyer’s job, or anybody’s job) as a writer.
I do think it’s a huge problem that publishers put so much weight and so much money behind the same kinds of stories — heteronormative romances starring white kids, written by white authors — but I think that’s a totally different conversation."